


FEFERI PEIXES: USER GUIDE AND MANUAL

by dord_waltz



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Guide, I am so sorry, Manual, Units
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-25
Updated: 2012-10-25
Packaged: 2017-11-17 00:27:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/545499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dord_waltz/pseuds/dord_waltz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now you too can own your very own TROLL )(-EIR-ESS! 38D</p>
            </blockquote>





	FEFERI PEIXES: USER GUIDE AND MANUAL

Congratulations! You have just purchased your very own FEFERI PEIXES unit! This manual exists for you to not be sleeping with the fishes!  
.  
Technical Specifications  
Name: Feferi Peixes, will also respond to cuttlefishCuller, FF, Heiress, and Fish Chick  
Age: 13-17  
Sign: Pisces  
Blood Color: Tyrian Purple  
.  
FEFERI PEIXES comes with:  
Two (2) black one-piece bathing suits with purple Pisces symbols  
One (1) multi-color skirt (should be blue and green edged with pale purple)  
Two (2) purple shoes  
Lots of jewelry (ranges from gold bracers/necklaces/anklets to beaded necklaces)  
One (1) pair purple goggles  
One (1) golden tiara  
One (1) 2x3dent Strife  
.  
PROGRAMMING:  
FISH TRAINER: This troll, being a Seadweller, loves fish! She is best with teaching cuttlefish, but the makers here at Zodiac, Inc are sure she’d love to train anything with gills to do a barrel roll!  
SUSHI CHEF: This unit, having lived under the sea her entire life, has figured out every way possible to prepare uncooked fish. And when we say every, we mean every.  
CHARITY LEADER: As this unit was meant to rule her people, she began to create plans to fix the social system. This unit’d love to lead any charity, such as Save the Whales or the Clean Ocean Action groups!  
.  
RE-PROGRAMMING:  
-EXCIT-ED! (Default)  
Rude (Default)  
Leader  
Protective  
Furious (Locked)  
.  
Your unit comes in the default EXCITED and RUDE modes; this entails that, while your unit may be happy and pleasant to be around, she may begin to make offhand remarks on people. She only half means it, we swear!  
This unit also has the LEADER mode; she has to be fully capable of ruling a planet, after all! However, we highly suggest that you avoid having her lapse into this mode, as she may begin to coddle her “subjects”.  
The PROTECTIVE mode goes hand-in-hand with her LEADER mode; she is willing to sacrifice herself to protect those around her. This may or may not result in her death; avoid having her go into this mode!  
The mode FURIOUS is locked and with good reason—it basically means that, through being over-protective, she is willing to KILL somebody! This is frowned upon in most cultures, so we suggest avoiding it at all costs. It is unlocked by being in the presence of any ERIDAN AMPORA units for any length of time; why, even SMELLING something that reminds this unit of him may set it off.  
.  
RELATIONSHIPS:  
ERIDAN AMPORA: This broken-up moirail couple is EXTREMELY incompatible; ERIDAN felt red for FEFERI, but wound up killing her instead. Any interaction is WILL trigger this unit’s FURIOUS mode and heads will roll.  
SOLLUX CAPTOR: This unit was matesprites with FEFERI PEIXES for some time (until she died). It has a chance of being salvageable, depending on if SOLLUX CAPTOR has met with a God Tier!ARADIA MEGIDO or not yet.  
KARKAT VANTAS: These two have a rather neutral relationship, as they don’t actually interact much. However, they semi-empathize being the only one with their own blood color, so they could most likely get along.  
.  
Removal of your FEFERI PEIXES unit:  
1\. Hit the box with a fish. This will cause the unit to jump out of the box in neutral confusion; it is also the most recommended one.  
2\. Get an ERIDAN AMPORA to say anything or mimic his accent. This will cause your unit to fly into a slight rage and cause the box to explode.  
3\. Open the box and poke your unit. We at Zodiac Inc are not responsible if you lose a finger.  
.  
CLEANING:  
Your unit will not object to any bath or shower—why, she might stay in there long enough to send your water bill through the roof! We recommend bringing her to a salt water pool/a river/lake/the ocean regularly though so that she can swim freely and enjoy the water!  
FEEDING: This unit will not reject any food, although she will tend to prefer fish, if available.  
.  
TROUBLESHOOTING:  
Q: Your unit has taken over the neighborhood/town/state/country!  
A: Well then. Looks like she’s become corrupted due to influence from her ancestor; we recommend calling in an ERIDAN AMPORA unit to kill her at this point.  
Q: Your unit is gasping on the ground, looking a bit off!  
A: She’s dehydrated; throw a glass of water on her before giving her some to drink. To prevent this, take her to a pool/river/lake/ocean.  
.  
We at Zodiac, Inc. wish you the best of luck in keeping your FEFERI PEIXES unit through the rest of your life, as she will severely outlive you! Best of luck, and don’t be culled!

**Author's Note:**

> So this was removed from FanFic. Bluh.  
> Yeah. Good thing I got this account just in time, haha.  
> Original was posted on account CanDoAnythingNow; I'm gonna transfer all my works over here so yeah. xD


End file.
